Future?

My parent going to china on wed..for 6 day..
my plan...wed night go hardrock cafe to relax..thurs go find yk..plan done...
and..guess what my parent think??Even that their leaving just for 6 day...
they think iam going to mix with the bad person..i say how many fucking time i said..i wont..cuz i am not those type..
they say..stay at home for this 6 day..then i say..just 1 sentence
we human cant control everything,sometimes u force to control everything it turns to bad.is better that you let it be natural
Great..i get fuck up..i was trying to explain there..lol..
they say..so i not song is it??go out and dont come back...i just smile =)...
then they start to say..i haven start my college..why not i go to my father office to learn thing..
yea..iam going to study my father job..a part of my father job..so i think i could him help..
but the intake is next year?so..i really wanna start my study..as i did try to go to my father office
and put my heart and do..but mistake and my heart is not there..and i think..this is not the right time for me..i really need my parent to understand..is not the right time yet..but they refuse to listen..they just say iam lazy useless rubbish..come on..
iam working there..and iam thinking about music..argg..i don wan to go there and mess thing up and take salary..then they say..then put your heart in..zz as i said early..is not the time yet..
i wanna start my father job hobby..when iam studying..no..they say NEVER..I CAN NEVER MAKE MY CHOICE..MY CHOICE R BULLSHIT..LISTEN..LISTEN TO THEM..yeah..i know ..my father is success person..but not my fucking mother..but she just shout at me..but..since the last time she slap me for no reason..i have made my choice..i respect her but i will never care about her..
like last year..i stop my guitar class.s because of spm..after spm i wanted to continue my guitar class ++ vocal class..i request alot time from my parent..
but they say no..music canot live...i just love..why cant i learn ?just because their attitude is STONE
then i cant improve my guitar and vocal??just that simple of them can ruin everything..
i have no choice..but learn myself..

On that day..my parent ask me to perform infront of them.is one of my relative birthday and big party..because all of my relative wanted to listen.. then i say..is english song ok??they say ok!
So i say..i wrote this song myself..and i heard my mother say..WTF i wrote myself??
after play..I seriously..love the clap and crowded voice..i enjoy that feeling..eventhough iam shaking on stage..i have to thx my friend that telling me this song is nice..and they gave me confident to do that..so i did it..and i guess..singing on stage is much more nicer =O...

and today..they say..always stay at room play guitar for what??
then i say ..i never want to stay at home..because home is full of shout and argue..i wanted to be busy and not staying at home..this word...FUCK MYSELF..I HAVE MADE A FUCKING BIG MISTAKE..THAT TELLING THEM HOW I FELL...AND I GOT FUCK UP LIKE..
then get away from this home..wtf now..go out..if u can..go out....
and i say..look at yourself ..i guess u understand why i hate staying at home now..
They ask..what am i thinking??
i say..please don ask..because u guys will never accept..
i will study..
too much thing ....
i say dont care about me so much ...
and my mother say..so u think u very proud??
i shout at her and say..because iam not the son u needed and i never wan u to worry..
then i walk to my room and start my blog here...
iam not crying..i never will..i will find a way to solve it...
everytime i talk with them..they always ask me to throw my music life away...
and they really did force until me wanna stop.....
how??tell my band..hey i don wan continue band with you all...
selfish??
forget about it..i wont stop...my life goes on...i am improving..but my parent will never know..
everything is in my heart..just i have no chance to show my talent and my idea..not only in music..but in life too....
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