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Jealousy should not exist in my world..because jealousy lead me to FUCKING WRONG WAY..not to ask ppl stop making me jealous but i have to stop Jealous ppl by myself..Money and Love is so fucking far from me that i feel so tired and suffering everyday from what i wanted but i cant get..just can see but canot touch..that feeling is Shitty..for myself i still wont give up on the things i wan and the 'Someone' i wanted ..God bless --...

and here wanted to tell a friend of mine and someone important for me...
friendship doesnt talk about Anything..Friend is more important than your gf/bf
no matter what they do..u just have to forgive them...bcuz friend is the only thing that keep u smiling...human always use each other...like iam boring..iam going to call my friend to accompany me..we need each other...Losing one Gf/Bf is no fucking big deal..but losing one best friend will kill u
Think triple time...There is a word..'one step back the sky will look brighter'
Love one r not important..Friends are more..Remember..
Tolerate is needed everytime..dont talk about personal attitude...we can change our attitude every sec if we wanted too...

<3 u

Moon Cake Festival..

Moon cake festival..for me ..is actually not a big celebration...
because on moon cake festival..i stay alone at home..and everybody went out..
only my maid is with me --..she is a good friend XD...
then i see alot ppl celebrate and looks so happy with candles --..i feel jealous =(...
like everybody at facebook going to say that Happy Moon Cake Festival!!!!hmmph..it makes me wanna celebrate too....too bad =(...this kind of loneliness will end soon..i hate this kind of feeling..
Let me go parent ...>.^ ......... i learn how to live in loneliness in long term and iam still alive..
dont come and tell me that u r by my side always...it isn't sweet and it makes me laugh..
Anyway...my diet and exercise!!!haha...From 72 kg to 68kg in 1 week..* o *!!!
but i have to stop diet on friday ..because i need to go to arif house party =(...arggggg!!!
i'll try just to eat kuih =(..... <3

Take care all ..Happy Belated moon cake festival..

Future?

My parent going to china on wed..for 6 day..
my plan...wed night go hardrock cafe to relax..thurs go find yk..plan done...
and..guess what my parent think??Even that their leaving just for 6 day...
they think iam going to mix with the bad person..i say how many fucking time i said..i wont..cuz i am not those type..
they say..stay at home for this 6 day..then i say..just 1 sentence
we human cant control everything,sometimes u force to control everything it turns to bad.is better that you let it be natural
Great..i get fuck up..i was trying to explain there..lol..
they say..so i not song is it??go out and dont come back...i just smile =)...
then they start to say..i haven start my college..why not i go to my father office to learn thing..
yea..iam going to study my father job..a part of my father job..so i think i could him help..
but the intake is next year?so..i really wanna start my study..as i did try to go to my father office
and put my heart and do..but mistake and my heart is not there..and i think..this is not the right time for me..i really need my parent to understand..is not the right time yet..but they refuse to listen..they just say iam lazy useless rubbish..come on..
iam working there..and iam thinking about music..argg..i don wan to go there and mess thing up and take salary..then they say..then put your heart in..zz as i said early..is not the time yet..
i wanna start my father job hobby..when iam studying..no..they say NEVER..I CAN NEVER MAKE MY CHOICE..MY CHOICE R BULLSHIT..LISTEN..LISTEN TO THEM..yeah..i know ..my father is success person..but not my fucking mother..but she just shout at me..but..since the last time she slap me for no reason..i have made my choice..i respect her but i will never care about her..
like last year..i stop my guitar class.s because of spm..after spm i wanted to continue my guitar class ++ vocal class..i request alot time from my parent..
but they say no..music canot live...i just love..why cant i learn ?just because their attitude is STONE
then i cant improve my guitar and vocal??just that simple of them can ruin everything..
i have no choice..but learn myself..

On that day..my parent ask me to perform infront of them.is one of my relative birthday and big party..because all of my relative wanted to listen.. then i say..is english song ok??they say ok!
So i say..i wrote this song myself..and i heard my mother say..WTF i wrote myself??
after play..I seriously..love the clap and crowded voice..i enjoy that feeling..eventhough iam shaking on stage..i have to thx my friend that telling me this song is nice..and they gave me confident to do that..so i did it..and i guess..singing on stage is much more nicer =O...

and today..they say..always stay at room play guitar for what??
then i say ..i never want to stay at home..because home is full of shout and argue..i wanted to be busy and not staying at home..this word...FUCK MYSELF..I HAVE MADE A FUCKING BIG MISTAKE..THAT TELLING THEM HOW I FELL...AND I GOT FUCK UP LIKE..
then get away from this home..wtf now..go out..if u can..go out....
and i say..look at yourself ..i guess u understand why i hate staying at home now..
They ask..what am i thinking??
i say..please don ask..because u guys will never accept..
i will study..
too much thing ....
i say dont care about me so much ...
and my mother say..so u think u very proud??
i shout at her and say..because iam not the son u needed and i never wan u to worry..
then i walk to my room and start my blog here...
iam not crying..i never will..i will find a way to solve it...
everytime i talk with them..they always ask me to throw my music life away...
and they really did force until me wanna stop.....
how??tell my band..hey i don wan continue band with you all...
selfish??
forget about it..i wont stop...my life goes on...i am improving..but my parent will never know..
everything is in my heart..just i have no chance to show my talent and my idea..not only in music..but in life too....
= |

My Wedding

Suddenly though of what will it be for my wedding??
I wan to have a very special wedding that chinese never try before
is change the way on my wedding
change religion of wedding
into indian wedding
dont you feel how sweet?
feel the passion like palace...
the flower smell...
that indian house always have..iam serious..is just romantic..

happy wedding??yeah...

Is just happiness =O......

alot flower around them..is so nice

LOL..i was just kidding--..i don wan a indian wedding haha.. seriously..i guess i would like to have a honeymoon shooting....In paris..In russia..And japan...My fav place..
just imagine that you went to place that nobody know u and just you and your partner..
As i can let my wife feel that..no matter where we go..i will always 'CAN' protect her =)


yeah i guess i will be like that..WHOAHHHH
iam crazy..tata ..
just though of posting ~

Feel to be a alone

After my broke up...i never though of having a gf 1st..i just wanna concentrate on my music and my life...and you suddenly appear in my life...haaaa..you are very special..at 1st i though i would never need a care from ppl..but the exist of you..the care from you..is waking me up..i feel fresh =)..As i actually need someone care alot..i was just learning how to be strong...i was enjoying the time being with you...you came in to my life and is really miracle..i remember every sec talking with you ..the happiness/sadness..i drop down..to a paper..and i start to compose my very 2nd song..and it came out very good feedback <3...and had a argument with you..though of leaving you...was suffer in pain..and iam worry that u r suffering too...hmmph..was thinking...should not have a 1st chat with you...and all...my feeling is very confuse when i see you cry...and iam pretty sure that..iam already in love...for that..i wrote a song...called Hate Myself...but i still give a try on us..cuz i really want it... <3
iam trying my best..serious..iam fucking serious TT